For most
BDSM scenarios Goddess uses the words: Red, Yellow, Green. "Red" means "full stop", and the scene is halted/paused to assess what is bothering the submissive/client. "Yellow" means "getting too intense", and the activity is scaled back to a previous level the submissive/client was comfortable with. "Green" means "all good".
Goddess may ask you "what's your color" at any time during a session. You may also call out a color at any time.
For
impact scenes (consensual striking of the submissive), Goddess prefers a number system (1-10). 10 is akin to "red", 8-9 are like saying "yellow". The number system is a pain scale that helps the Dominant understand where the client is at, and how much more force may be used. The numbers 1-7 provide better insight into pain tolerance than "green".
You may be asked "your number" at any time during an impact scene. You may also call out a number anytime you think Goddess needs to know it.
For scenes where the submissive is consensually gagged, a visual cue will be incorporated, so the submissive is still able to express limits effectively.
Consensual Non-Consent is a term used to describe scenes/play/sessions in which there is a role-play of one person being harmed/punished or controlled against their will. The entire scene may be designed around this concept, or it may simply be a place the bottome/submissive/client likes to go in their head during a scene.
For this reason, the words "no", "stop", "please don't" are not used as safe words. Using colors or numbers allows the bottom/submissive/client to play out these scenarios, while still having clear ways to keep the scene consensual, safe, and fun.
Rules and limits for wrestling, boxing, or any competitive/semi-competitive, or "fantasy" fight scenes will be discussed and negotiated on an individual basis. There are some basic rules that must be followed for everyones safety:
- If it wasn't negotiated, don't do it.
- NO armbars, choking, joint locks, or striking without preapproval (permission sometimes given for regular clients that know how to do these safely).
- No landing on opponent from higher than kneeling
- No throwing opponent without prior training
- No hair pulling
- No eye jabs/pokes/elbows/intentional strikes.
- No scratching or biting
- No groin strikes
- No blows to the kidney/liver
- If someone passes out, taps out, or says "tap", all fighting ceases immediately. It is only resumed when both parties are lucid and give consent.
- No bracing against objects or walls during grappling
- No throwing people against walls or objects
- No weapons of any kind are allowed in a session
- If someone is unable to defend themselves for any reason, the fight stops.
There isn't an activity in BDSM, or in contact sports that is entirely risk free. When you choose to engage in these activities, you must accept that there is some risk that things may not go perfectly every time.
It is important that you play with someone you trust to have your best interests in mind. But, even taking every safety precaucion, there will always be risks. Clients are encouraged to ask about the risks of different activities. They are also encouraged to do their own research into the potential dangers of the activities they engage in. It is YOUR responsibility to understand your health/medical issues, and to inform Goddess.